Desire and Its Nature Pt 3 : Discipline

June, 03 2025 • 5 min read • 854 words

This is my last part of the desire and its nature writing, it has been a very reflective I would say

I think the more I reflect on this series, the more I realize how little I actually knew about desire when I first started writing it all. It seemed like something simple at the start. A feeling really only. Something that could either be ignored or acted on. But now, after sitting with it, questioning , if i really wanted this, falling to it sometimes and trying to rise again. The act of wanting, and that of wanting new things, which I mentioned in the last part, is what desire is—if not controlled with discipline, NOT pure motivation.

There was a time, not long ago, when I believed that willpower was the answer to it all. If I wanted something bad enough, I would get it. If I tried hard enough, it would happen. But that is just another form of desire. It is still rooted in the self trying to take control. True discipline is not loud like that at all. It is way slower, and requires more patience. Which once again is alot easier to say than do. “I definitely can be patient”

I’ve had discipline before, outside of Ramadan. I’ve seen it in late nights coding, in moments where I kept going when everything in me said stop (like marathon training). But something about that month always brings it into a higher sharper focus. Ramadan makes it harder to run from yourself. The structure is already there, and if you follow it, you start to see what you’re really made of. Waking up early for suhoor, praying on time, working while fasting, staying off distractions—it’s not easy, but somehow I do it. Not because I feel strong every day. Most of the time I’m drained. But I still move. That’s when I know it’s not just desire anymore. It’s discipline. And the version of me that shows up in that month is someone I want to carry into the rest of the year. Not someone perfect, rather someone more aligned. This brings me into Routine.

Routine is not about perfection really. It is not about being robotic either. It is about building a wall to guard the things that matter to oneself. I have seen in myself how easy it is to fall into the habit of starting things and never finishing. Starting a project, getting excited, hitting a hard part, and then moving on to something else. That is not growth. That is me running away when I get bored of what I started. And the longer I run from the hard part, the more I feed the part of me that wants comfort over clarity.

Lately, I’ve been trying to be more honest with myself. It’s easier to avoid things than to face them. Easier to keep busy or start something new than to deal with the problems already sitting in front of you. Especially the goals you’ve set for yourself. The ones that actually matter. It’s uncomfortable to keep going when the feeling is gone, when the excitement fades. But that’s exactly where discipline comes in. I built this site to hold myself accountable. Not really to build quickly or move from one idea to the next, but to stay with something until it’s done. Then use it!

Faith, for me, is the root of all discipline aswell. Either if it’s salah, reading quran, reflecting on those very words, and the whole set. The desires (good or bad ) are still there, but they do not control me. For example, the idea of slipping when you have been very consistent for long, and all the hard work goes to the bin, with a strong faith you would know it is never over.

Discipline is not about erasing desire at all. That would be impossible. Desire is part of the self. But it is about placing it where it belongs. Not as some sort of driver, but as a signal. Something to be noticed, questioned, understood. And only then acted on, if it is right. Most desires, I have found, are just pure noise. Most of them disappear if you wait long enough.

The goal is not to become a machine or an AI. The goal is to become someone who can pause before they move. A person who can ask, “Is this good for me?” before saying yes. Someone who is not ruled by every feeling. Someone who can sit in silence without needing to escape it right there in the moment.

Maybe the question was never about how strong my desire is, but how willing I am to sit with it without moving. To not chase, not react, but wait. Maybe discipline is less about conquering the self, and more about being able to stand in the middle of noise and not be pulled by it. I used to think the hard part was knowing what I wanted. Now I think the real work is knowing what to do when I do.

End Series - X